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Saturday, 28 February 2015

Toothscapades of the Monstrous One

Note - this is not a homeschooling post, it's a parenting one.

Losing teeth is not a simple process, or so I have discovered this past year.  My kids have chosen to believe in the Tooth Fairy, and I go along with this for their enjoyment.  For various reasons we don't do the pillow thing, we put our lost teeth into a cup of water on the bathroom sink and hope the fairy drops some money in there.  So far only the Monster has lost teeth, the Wench is not yet old enough.  For fun I am sharing the stories of how my Monster has lost his teeth so far.

Tooth Number One - The Swindler.

An adult tooth started cutting through his gums, his tooth became wobbly and then, a few months later (yes months) the tooth fell out in a fairly simple way.  The Monster chose to leave a note for the Tooth Fairy, asking her to please let him keep his first tooth, and, of course, her money.  She left a note agreeing to his request so long as he would stop chewing his toothbrush.

The next day excitement abounds as he discovers money, a new toothbrush and his tooth!  He asks me later how the Tooth Fairy knows he lost a tooth? An interesting question that I can't answer properly, for various reasons.  I soon discover that his question isn't one of curiosity. Instead, he gives me this,

"If I put the tooth back in the cup and leave it out again tonight, will she come again and give me more money?"

Yes.  That happened.  My son, my Monster, decided he wanted to con the Tooth Fairy out of more money.  Dear Tooth Fairy, learn woman.  Give an inch, they will try to take a mile.

Tooth Number Two - Down the Hatch.

This was a simple incident, thus a simple story, but it horrified the Monster.  As he sat there eating, his face is suddenly overcome with a look of shock and horror.  He had swallowed his tooth.  Why was he horrified? Simple, his immediate logic told him that, no tooth equals no money.  Luckily for him, he was mistaken.

Funnily enough, this was the second time he got to keep his tooth.  Though quite different to the first time.

Tooth Number Three - Foot in Mouth.

The Monsters top front teeth have been wobbly for many months now and one (his right) adult tooth did cut through behind the baby ones.  This resulted in his baby tooth being slowly pushed forward in his mouth.  It was quite interesting to see actually, this gap in his mouth slowly widening each day.  He was not impressed by it to say the least.

What happened a few days ago is fairly simple and somewhat amusing, even if it wasn't the best idea or the safest one.  The Monster comes running out of his sisters room, happily bleeding everywhere, holding his tooth.  Having decided that he had waited long enough for this tooth to fall out he devised an ingenious plan - he made his little sister kick him in the mouth.

We've discussed why this was not a good thing to do, the various things that could go wrong with such a plan.  Nonetheless, hats off to him for coming up with it and then actually following through with it.  I am sure the Wench was only too happy to help.

The Tooth Fairy did not let him keep this tooth.

Tooth Number Four - Mummy the Dentist

The kick in the mouth made his other tooth quite a bit more wobbly than it had been, and this one does not have an adult counterpart cutting through just yet.  But today it came it out.

Playing with his sister on the trampoline and the inevitable happened, her head bumped his mouth.  I know this because he came inside screaming and dripping blood.  No plan this time, it was an accident and it led to a very upset and scared Monster.  The tooth? It was still in!  Hanging by a thread this tooth was dangling there, sticking out in all directions. It was quite amusing to look at.

Apparently the Monster was in some discomfort, he couldn't stand the dangling tooth being in there.  A thread, that was all.  He decided to pull it out, but he couldn't do it.  He asked me to do it, but he chickened out.  He sat for ten minutes, fear and determination written on his face, his fingers wriggling and twisting that tooth.

He came up with several plans in those ten minutes.  Was there not a machine we could use that would pull it out for him? Did I not have any special drinks that would make it come out?  Could I not just get some scissors and cut the thread?  Unfortunately I could only say no to all of them.

I point out to him that he has 5 minutes until lunch time and I doubt he will enjoy eating with his tooth like that (it really was dangling by a thread).  He looks at the clock, twists his tooth a bit more, looks at me and nods.

"Do it now mummy, pull it out now!  But...." and he whispers, "Don't pull too hard."

So I become a dentist for a moment.  I did not have to pull very hard at all, a single small tug and it was out.  He didn't even know it was out until I put it in his hand.  No pain, a gap in his mouth and a happy smile is now on his face.

I predict the Tooth Fairy will not be leaving this tooth behind either.

The Wench is now planning how she will lose her teeth in the future.


The Monster snuck some notes onto the sink with tooth number four last night.

Ken I hav the tooth an the?
Ken I hav ten dolles.

Okay.  We may need to do a little more work on spelling, and apparently I need to clean the sink. Ah but it made me laugh when I saw it, ten dollars and the tooth!  He is a slick one that's for sure.

Of course someone messed up last night, being a tired pregnant woman I fell asleep before doing something important.  I am sure you can guess.  Suffice to say, the Tooth Fairy apparently had several teeth to get to last night and ran out of time.  I have told the Monster she should be here tonight though.  

Ten dollars.  I predict that will not actually happen.



  1. hahaha this is gold....love it!

    1. I think if it keeps happening I will have to write a little book about it lol. Who knew tooth loss could be so full of drama haha

  2. I love reading these kinds of posts, reminds me of my own boy. They keep us entertained and life is certainly never dull now hey.

    1. Certainly never dull, I find even on the bad days there is always at least one thing that happened that will make me laugh when I look back on the day.
      It's been great too, since getting this lot of money, along with other money he had, he's spent the past few days just counting money and doing maths, exchanging coins with his sister, skip counting, adding and multiplying. Even the tooth fairy leads to random homeschooling moments :-)

  3. That is hilarious, I love it :D